Fucking Stop #1

This is a new section about things we need to stop doing. Fuck

This entry falls into the expansive category of “not having anything original to say.” Our best advice in situations like this is to just not say anything at all. The fact that you’re letting something as universal as a unit of time dictate something as complex as your mood does not speak highly of your personality. On a related note, you should also refrain from saying that any day other than friday “totally feels like a friday.” Because that’s just hurtful.

-collegehumor

 

source collegehumor. To: Pretentious Prick: Before you say anything scrotum-face this is Not written by me, copy pasted word by word. Sorry for wanting to share with my readers.

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Far too long

Dear readers,

Its been quite a while since I updated the blog, the reason lies with lack of inspiration. Don’t you worry loyal readers, I got my muse back.

its gettin hot in here..

Kindly expect me to rape you with posts this week.

Man and other drugs.

The man who can't be moved.

Man must be truly sorry for all the filth and mortal sins he has accumulated throughout his life, he is faced with tools to facilitate his process of redemption: Noting the power of each instrument, he must use compunction to detoxify his soul, humility to fragrant the mind, and finally to abstain from obscenity to avoid further harming the body at the point-of-brink. The cleansing of the not-so-original sin consists of gradual punishment, one that is directly proportional to the damage of the wrongs. But thinking to right the wrong makes man seem like an opportunist, one seeking a clean slate, to dust of the ashes and start making more of the same filth. Nevertheless, even the worst of opportunity taken is accepted if the deed is done. But man is blindly in love with procrastination, an unfaithful lover that casually spreads its requisite legs for anyone willing to be blinded by the sight.

When there is a way, the will shrivels into its protective shell of lethargic decisions. Man plans to be truly sorry, concluding that tomorrow, After all- is only a day away.

-Tom

Arousing Twits

This site’s version of twitter, a brief literal projectile alternative to my other never-ending posts. 

In this age of delicious absurdity, I’m starting to realize the erotic appeal of ordinary things. An example is women wearing converse, to me this look exuberates more primitive energy than does the one barely-managing over-hyped (often so wrongly associated with the epitome of chicque-ness)…heels. Its not a foot fixation, its more of an attitude fetish. Women wearing baseball caps also has a similar effect on my attention. Do not ask me why. Just ask me how, and I’ll show you proud. (this is a Lil’Wayne lyric, not the best context for usage. But as my loyal readers know by now, I always do what I want.)

balsamicos

Time-Stoned, I think that she knows.

Funny how some people find the need to insistently renew their animation for clever idioms. On of the most over used cliché’s suffers the most of this ‘emotional arousment’: Drum Roll please….the deliciously infamous: time flies when you’re having fun.

It baffles me to how people have the tendency to over dramatize life’s simplest mechanics. How obvious is it, fun means enjoying time. thus not wanting it to finish. One of the major reasons why some perceive sex lasting much less than it actually does (some might conspire that this whole article was written for the sole subliminal effect of the very last sentence, and for that their completely right.) The amazement likens life to a grumpy hormonal Drew Carey look-alike, who’s sole purpose in life is to keep an eye on your fun-fulfilling moments. Once he catches you in the act, he only has to make a purposeful reach to the time remote and begin fast-forwarding with spiteful vengeance (all while flipping you off and auto-felating himself at the same time).

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Love The Way You Lie (next to me)

This blog prides it self in maintain a balance of philosophical bullshit and delicious nonsense.

Patience is a  virtue indeed, one that is virtually unattainable by anyone in our time. The excessive need for distraction has eliminated the possibility of anyone embracing tolerance. It is not that we are an overtly-demanding generation, we just want (more appropriately yearn) for instant access to everything. I will not go into blaming technology and the internet for destroying any form of patience and our long-term ability focus because we all know that it did indeed do that, so there really is little need for presenting arguments for a factual matter.

This phenomenon (over dramatization is a fetish of mine) has made its way into the fabrics of sexual human interaction. The most interesting of which is in the field of courtal interaction, better known by the intellectually-void as the art of flirting. This self-proclaimed art has actually transformed into a form of gambling platform than requires less admiration and more pity. The notion of clubbing in most countries has a funny mixture of expectation and reality, its a known premise that single unattached individuals go to clubs for many reasons under the title of fun with hopes of reinforcing (or perhaps elevating) their own perceived levels of social attractiveness. This obvious observation leads us to a less-than-shocking revelation: it goes without saying that everyone seeks nightlife to generally have fun, but everyone has private (possibly cruel) intentions. This why this type of social interaction often results in disappointment, rejection or sometimes heartbreaking egoistic inflation.

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Are we there yet?

I will cry.. don't try me.

Obviously something is wrong with us, people tend to find excitement in anything they can dub as being NEW, Whether it’s a new experience, new relationship, new chapter and even new possessions, we tend to forget pleasurable past-experiences with agitating hopes of renewed anticipations. Its also interesting to realize that we all (on some weird incomprehensible psychological level)value disappointment more than success, and for we tend to blame fulfillment (often wrongly referred to as happiness).The modern man’s love for complaint is more eye-opening and surprisingly overwhelming than any other perversely modernized state of mind. We strive for something, once we get it we lose all grounds for possible complaint. This is observation is slowly turning into a matter-of-fact reality: we need to complain to survive, being happy is just not enough anymore.

If no matter how ridiculously-farfetched your words are…and yet everyone agrees with you…you will eventually stop talking.

This conclusion explains why disappointment lasts much longer than satisfaction. Students feel worse for much longer when they receive bad grades(often followed with over thinking and demoralization), in comparison to the short-lived often smugly-shrugged off satisfaction that results from higher/more exceptional results. Movie critics love to write long-detailed analysis of a movie’s faults leaving practically no room for often well-deserved praise. Employees spend more time relentlessly highlighting the increasing shit-level of their forced over-time shifts while never discussing that Christmas bonus they all received last week. If one thing is certain, the ego has a love/hate relationship with disappointment, and likeness satisfaction to a pre-paid prostitute and casually takes it for granted.

Hank Moody quote #2

Who knew Hank had a sensitive side, this is a letter written to Karen. (notice I’m not big on explaining things). Why am I sharing it? because I want to. Fuck you.

AND FUCK. THE SUN

Dear Karen,

If you’re reading this it means I actually worked up the courage to mail it, so good for me. You don’t know me very well but if you get me started I have a tendency to go on and on about how hard the writing is for me. But this, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write.

There’s no easy way to say this so I’ll just say it, I met someone. It was an accident, I wasn’t looking for it, it wasn’t on the make, it was a perfect storm. She said one thing, I said another, next thing I knew, I wanted to spend the rest of my life in the middle of that conversation. Now there’s this feeling in my gut she might be the one. She’s completely nuts in a way that makes me smile, highly neurotic with a great deal of maintenance required, she is you, Karen. That’s the good news. The bad is I don’t know how to be with you right now. And that scares the shit out of me. Because if I’m not with you right now, I have this feeling that we’ll get lost out there. It’s a big, bad world full of twists and turns. And people have a way of blinking and missing the moment. The moment that could have changed everything. I don’t know what’s going on with us, and I can’t tell you why you should waste the leap of faith on the likes of me, but damn you smell good. Like home. And you make excellent coffee. That’s got to count for something right?

Call me.

Unfaithfully yours, Hank

 

This next one is my favorite:

Henry Rollins: What’s your latest obsession?
Hank Moody: Just the fact that people seem to be getting dumber and dumber. You know, I mean we have all this amazing technology and yet computers have turned into basically four figure wank machines. The internet was supposed to set us free, democratize us, but all it’s really given us is Howard Dean’s aborted candidacy and 24 hour a day access to kiddie porn. People…they don’t write anymore – they blog. Instead of talking, they text, no punctuation, no grammar: LOL this and LMFAO that. You know, it just seems to me it’s just a bunch of stupid people pseudo-communicating with a bunch of other stupid people at a proto-language that resembles more what cavemen used to speak than the King’s English.
Henry Rollins: Yet you’re part of the problem, I mean you’re out there blogging with the best of them.
Hank Moody: Hence my self-loathing.

JerryLime: Literal Impotence

This is a post-reply for the previous post titled “literal impotence” by Balsamicos. The Following is written by our new writer JerryLime

Enter Smashmouth soundtrack

To believe in something despite something itself being challenged by logic – is the definition of faith. It’s not that its logically absurd\illogical, It’s that the notion of God transcends Logic. Here’s a straightforward question: Do you expect God to be acted upon by say the law of gravity?

My guess, you would expect not.

So, if the law of gravity doesn’t apply to God, why should the law of Logic! After all, as is Gravity a characteristic of the human realm, so is logic a characteristic of the human realm. We need not forget that logic is a science with premises, created by non other than, some witty human being (there is a specific person to credit btw).

So, since God is not a human being among us (if I need to back this claim up, then youre not the believer\pretender you say you are, and since you say you are, Ill mover forward from here) It is only ‘logical’ that the laws that apply to our realm would not apply to the realm of God. As we once relied on our senses (once, as in, as toddlers) to decipher our existence that was later (as we mature) discredited by a higher judge, intellect, or logic.

Is the sun the size of the coin just because we can position a coin to completely cover the sun? Does the pencil in fact break as the result of the non-existent forces of water in a cup of water, then somehow, re-arrange its self? The obvious examples say it best.

Maybe perhaps a higher judge is yet to manifest its self that will discredit logic. Now, I don’t think there’s denying that this is a logical possibility.And with this being said, it is only logical not to rely on our logic as the supreme judge.So, stating that belief in God is logically absurd, might not be a drawback to the notion of belief, it might in fact be a re-inforcer of that very notion itself.

This is debatable of-course,I’m not saying this perspective substantiates all that appears “illogical” (say a friend of mine preferring the not-so-hot over the hot)
But, since ‘we are merely humans’, even I have to logically justify why an “illogical” is most logical.

And with regards to the safe side argument, its as you said, embracing religion, not belief or faith. I might embrace any sense and form of duty or obligation I owe another, but its certainly not believing in the validity of my own subsequent actions. Or it could be belief, if you want to think of it like this:

Individuals who claim to be a ‘believer’ solely based on the less costs associated with that, are in fact ‘hard-core believers’ with a heightened sense of doubt (which could be physiological for all anyone knows)

As “mere humans”, and this is an opinion, you cannot but doubt any experience or intention or motivation or happening or state of being. Even in the most mundane aspects of our existence, we almost certainly have an elusive “what if” its really this and not that, and even if its a passing thought overwhelmed by a conviction of how it in fact appears, that doubt lurks, even for the sole purpose of being dismissed.

And so safe-believers and hard-core believers could as well be one of the same, except the latter has developed a more efficient mute button for the doubts that echo in their thought process, perhaps by using\abusing logic to validate the existence of God.

A point or two may be plagiarized by my intellectually-sexy… consequently plagiarized by some thinker. And some statements are vague, it could be because I was allowing freedom for you own interpretation. Or I was to lazy to back them up with solid examples, seeing that I slept at 4, and woke up 5 hours later for no apparent reason, the view is too pretty from here.

That wasn't the view.

Posted by JerryLime,

Literal Impotence #1

Balsamico likes writing down his streams of consciousness, skip this one. Do not read it.

Fuck.Nothing is coming to mind, A song is stuck in my  head. Its one of those endlessly long titles Fallout boy has. If my memory serves me left(Ok Fine.. I’ll get help) it’s called: I slept with someone in Falloutboy and all I got was a song written about me.

Help me God.. Oh I believe in God. I recently learned that is possible to believe in something, even with the knowledge that the belief itself may be logically absurd. I learned it, acknowledged it. Pretended to act on it. 

How can someone believe in something they aren’t convinced in. Well, enter the safe-side argument: Some believe that we should embrace Religion because it costs less than not believing. The argument remains that whether God exists or not, a believer has less to lose. Except maybe a spoiled liver and yummy frankfurters.

Do you believe that people want what they cant have? When someone tells you not to do something, even if you had no interest in it whatsoever…. You still want to do it.

 For those of you calling bullshit, please read what’s written at the top of this post.